Above Average?!? No!

OMG embarrassing! I'll have to give some background information for the story first. When I was out in Seattle, I met Cee's friend, Jackie. Cee's a hair stylist and was coloring her friend's hair when I arrived. Well, Jackie and I got to talking and she seemed kinda interested in me. She wasn't really attractive, but I was lonely. She also had two kids and I thought she was a single mom. I'm a sucker for kids. Well I learned that she was married and that put a wrench in the gears. Eh. Oh well.

So when checking my email today, I find:

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From: "Jackie"
To: "Narf"
Subject: Hey Stranger!

Hi honey! I have been asking Cee to forward me your email but I just had
to steal it from an email she forwarded me because she was taking to long!!
Anyways, HI! Just a little message to say hi and let you know that we have
been talking allot about you and that you are never far from our minds,
especially Cee's! Well, I hope all is well and I hear from you soon!

Take care!

Love your second wife Jackie! :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Umm ... okay. She was kinda hitting on me in Seattle, so I figured this was just her expressing herself ... or something.

So I respond:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: "Narf"
To: "Jackie"
Subject: Howdy Stranger!

Wait, I have a first wife?

Thanks for thinking about me ... I guess. I've been pretty busy with school lately, so I could use all the prayers I can get. I doubt you'll fly down for my presentation, so I'll have to show off my game to you when I get to Seattle.

Take care!

Love your second husband Narf! :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Admittedly, I probably should have just sent a simple thank you. But I like toying with girls, so I played along.

And then I checked the next message in my inbox. It was from Cee:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: "Cee"
To: "Narf"
Subject: my friend is a dumbass

Hey my friend Jackie is a dumbass, she was trying to send Holmes an email and sent it to you by mistake and was wondering if you could forward it to him. She was getting the email address off of forwards and saw arf and a n, she is space head sometimes, but anyway if you could do that, that would be great, thanks... your favorite sis

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

o.0 AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I quickly type my response to Jackie:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: "Narf"
To: "Jackie"
Subject: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

So ... I only feel a little retarded ... *sigh* I should probably read all my email first before responding to any, I guess. I'm sure Dan is gonna get a kick out of this. So ... nevermind my reply then. I'm gonna just go get drunk and hope I don't remember any of this.


Narf

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: "Cee"
To: "Narf"
Subject: my friend is a dumbass

Hey my friend Jackie is a dumbass, she was trying to send Holmes an email and sent it to you by mistake and was wondering if you could forward it to him. She was getting the email address off of forwards and saw arf and a n, she is space head sometimes, but anyway if you could do that, that would be great, thanks... your favorite sis

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Apparently Jackie was online when my first email got sent:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: "Jackie"
To: "Narf"
Subject: RE: Howdy Stranger!

Did Cee not tell you! NOt that I don't want to say hi but I just glanced
at the email address and I thought it was Holmes'! That is probably why you
do not get my sarcasm. Anyways, I am glad that you are doing well and good
luck with school.

Jackie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well ... umm ... I guess that's not too bad. But there are a few more pieces to this puzzle. Jackie is the friend from the New Year's party. Jessie is the friend that was getting her hair colored. Doh! Then I sent the entire conversation to both Cee and Holmes so they could get a kick out of how dense I am. Cee pointed out that I forwarded her message calling Jackie a dumbass to Jackie. ... oops. I can clearly say this isn't my fault. A) Jackie sent me that email. B) Cee should have used UPPERCASE to denote such an important message.

And that's how my day is going.

***
Wood for Sheep

I totally want the shirt from Cafepress. Though I think I'd make one for the cards instead of the board pieces. There's also a KODT shirt about it.