fin

*ahem* As some of you know, I've slowly been spelling out a hidden message in my posts. I had mentioned it a while ago, but edited out my comment because I had been found out too quickly. I'm used to slyly dropping hints that no one actually picks up. But Casa3 figured it out and told me.

It's kinda hard to catch read the message, though the code is easy to break. The first letter of each post is added to the end of the message. Since Blogger displays posts by Newest First, the message reads backwards. So you have to read up the page to get the right order.

Well I'm done with my message, and it's about time that I actually explain it. You'll have to understand that this work started in August of 2005. Sixteen months! Obviously, a lot changes in sixteen months, so you'll note that the message ends quite differently than it starts.


I love you so very much. I long to hold you in my arms and kiss you. Oh, I love you Kay. I really do.

I am glad to know you and have you as a friend. Lately, I have been thinking that I am finally over you. Well, maybe not entirely, but enough.


I'm not sure where I should start explaining this. It was pretty obvious that I liked Kay. You know I had asked her out, right? For a long time now, I've been feeling empty. I was raised on Mario, always having to save the Princess. I need someone to need me. And I'm not sure Kay and I have enough in common to warrant dating, but I felt that she was the type to need someone. To my knowledge, she's never dated; never been kissed. I want her to be happy and I think she deserves a great guy. So who else could treat her nice like I do? (Though I seem to fail at treating her nice.)

The second sentence was me trying to be "romantic". I have no idea what my mom reads in those romance novels of hers, but the guys on the cover are always holding the ladies close. And I'd like to be the protective shield for someone, keeping them from danger. (Stupid paladin thoughts.)

What I've found, though, is that it really isn't Kay that I have a longing for. My longing is for any lady. Any lady that wants a man to treat her right. A man that won't hurt her. Unfortunately, I manage to keep hurting Kay. Well ... I dunno if it hurts, but I'm pretty sure she gets annoyed. My "do anything for you" policy is really a way to get her attention which isn't fair for her.

In the sixteen months of writing this, I realized that I love an imaginary girl and that I projected this girl onto Kay. I believed Kay was someone she wasn't. I'm sorry for that. The second part of this message expresses my true feelings for her. We're friends and I'm glad about that. Unfortunately, it will be hard for me to get over this imaginary Kay I fell in love with.