Under Pressure

So I'm about to suffer a nervous breakdown because of the stress. Lemme explain. I found a 4 bedroom mobile home for $25k. The neighbor who was showing it has lived in the area for 19 years. He sat in his mobile home during hurricane Charlie. So they seem fairly safe. It's near the University of Central Florida, meaning I could (and intend) to rent bedrooms out to students. Even with the lot fee and utilities calculated in, I'd be able to make enough money from renting to cover all costs. And even if I didn't have roommates, I would be able to afford it.

However, the owner had cats and dogs. So the place desperately needs new carpeting and paint. I can paint it myself, but I'd rather not do the carpet. And there's some random junk left in the rooms and storage shed. But that wouldn't be too bad for me to clean out. I'd also need to buy a washer and dryer. And I think it'd be a good idea to buy another fridge as well. Still all very doable with my credit limits.

The bank may not mortgage a 1989 mobile home. So I may need a personal loan which would have a higher APR, and thus higher cost. I'd really rather not have any more to worry about right now. So at this time, I don't think I should go for it.

The other stress I'm having is of course from work. Yesterday was our first class back from winter break. I thought it went very well. I've got some bright students, and they ask good questions. They even worked ahead during lab.

Apparently not everyone shares my view of how well it went. I have this older student who has taught high school math. So he was taking notes on how well I taught the class. And apparently I sucked royally. As far as I know, nothing I did was "correct". I introduced myself as being new. I have a no laptop policy during lecture (which was my predecessor's rule). I have the lights down low so the projector can be seen, but unfortunately I cannot be seen. I wore a hat ... which is uninviting? I gave the long and boring route on how to display "Hello World". I did not repeat student questions (which I generally do). I did not interact with the students enough. The console object we use to add color functionality to cout was not explained enough to just be bonus material (console is not my idea!). I should treat it more like a high school class and have little assignments given during lecture.

You know, I can actually handle that kind of "advice" from a student who has never met my predecessor. Unfortunately, this student didn't just come directly to me. I guess I'm too tall, dark, and scary for him. I'm sorry but if you're over 40 what the HELL do you have to lose by talking to me first?!? And he didn't even go to my manager. He went to his English teacher (from last month), and talked to her. She routed him to my manager, then it went to my supervisor, and finally I get roped into it. What really pisses me off is that my supervisor (and therefore manager) agree with the student's advice.

Well thanks. Thanks a whole f'ing lot for pushing me into this position and neglecting to monitor or advise anything I do. Let's just wait 'til someone complains and hope he figures something out. That's what they've done. And now I'm just an f'ing puppet. Student goes above my head and tells the puppet master. Then I do whatever the hell I'm told.

You know, the reason I liked this job is that I didn't have anyone telling me what to do. Sure I'd like advice on what I need to improve on, but that's not what they gave me. And my supervisor has the balls to say teaching PG1 is a good gig and he doesn't want me to lose it. Good gig? That's what you said? Good gig? F that, asshole. All I get is a bunch of whiny ass students complaining. Have I heard anything good about teaching this class? NO! No one likes PG1. I was sooo close to telling him he can teach PG1 if he wants and walking out. I was that pissed.

So ... do I like my job? Nope. Do I want to keep my job? Not the way this is going, no. Maybe if it didn't suck. Should I start looking for another job? Yeah. Will I? No. My manager asked if I was willing to make a long term commitment, and I agreed. I don't intend to quit. But at this rate, I should probably reconsider. My supervisor will always be pulling my strings. And I know I wouldn't give me a raise right now. So I'll probably stay at $32k until my critiques improve. And I'm sorry, but $32k isn't enough money to put up with this.

Everything changes tomorrow! We'll see if I'm sane at the end of the day.